Air Conditioning

Pretend Aircon Pirates

“Land ahoy!” The captain bounded to the front of the ship, peering over the edge with a steady hand on his tiny forehead. He motioned for his first mate to steer accordingly at the island in the distance.

“Aye, aye, captain!” His first mate, who also happened to be his dad, twisted the couch pillow ship’s wheel tightly. 

The captain stumbled slightly as he traversed the side of the ship, balancing precariously on the arms of the couch that formed the makeshift bird’s nest. 

“We are approaching land, guard up,” the captain barked back at his first mate. His first mate was preoccupied for a second with smiling at his wife in the doorway. Sweat dripped down his face in the summer heat, the aircon in the corner of the room whirring and producing a pathetically weak airflow. The captain saw the danger instantly.

“Trouble bayside! Cooling our dragon cannons now, I saw a sea monster!” 

The first mate turned serious, grabbing a nearby nerf cannon. He pretended to be encumbered under the weight of the ‘cannon’ ball as he reloaded it. 

“Not like that,” the captain said, taking the item off him and clumsily fitting a foam ball into it. “Like this.” Then, he handed it back to a gracious first mate.

There was giggling from the doorway, which the first mate once again became preoccupied by. 

“So honey, I’m guessing you haven’t found technicians for air conditioning near South Yarra yet?” His wife said from the doorway. Booking repairs for the air conditioning system had been his chore. Given the heat wave they were facing, and the lack of cold air in the house, his procrastination was evident. 

The first mate struggled to get up from the couch pillows he was trapped under. “There’s no aircon at sea,” he said sheepishly.

The captain bounded onto the side of the couch, pointing a foam sword in the direction of the doorway. “Do you see that?” He whispered to his dad, behind a small hand. “I think there’s a sea creature over there.”

A smile wound its way onto his dad’s face. With a determined look between them, they both began to load up their nerf toys. The ‘sea creature’ in question shook her head. She looked to consider her options for a moment.

Then, with a sudden start, she raised her arms high above her head. She stuck out her tongue and quickly ran after the captain, who giggled with glee. “I’m going to eat you first!” she cried out, amidst the sea of laughter.

The air conditioner could wait for now.