Table Tennis Turmoil

God had threatened to quit every day since the start of this century, but Michael didn’t like the tone of voice his boss had when she declared it now. He flew up to the corner of the room where she had picked up a ping pong paddle. Before he could speak, she had passed him one and moved to the other side of the table.

“You can’t quit,” he said, holding the paddle limply in his hand like a dirty napkin. God stretched, warming up for the match. She motioned to the table tennis table. “Australia was a bad example,” he said, trying to approach her a little more gently than when he had first ordered her to invent a new animal. His approach to that request had been the very reason she had decided to spontaneously quit. “Australians seem to love life despite the constant threat of being poisoned! Maybe we can check through your old drafts so you won’t even have to invent any new ones.”

God pursed her lips, hitting a ping pong ball towards him to start the game. He didn’t know much about the sport but his instincts took over enough to volley it back to her. “I don’t know, it might be time I retire.” Her eyes shone like a lightbulb had been switched on. “Wait, I’ve got an idea!”

Michael sighed in relief. Finally she saw logic. She was quite literally the creator of the Universe, she couldn’t exactly quit. He drew out his clipboard to be ready for the new animal she would come up with. He would take anything at this point.

“Okay, jot this down,” she looked up toward the stars, placing her paddle on the table. “First, make a note to make me a list of the best backyard trampolines for sale. Delivery included, of course, I’m not travelling all the way down there myself for that!”

He set his pen down on the paper as she trailed off. “Trampolines?”

“Yes, trampolines, catch up Michael,” she said, now moving away from the table, eyes trained on the sky above them. “I’m inventing a new sport to practise now that I’m retired. It’s called: star catching. I really think it’ll catch on.”

Michael felt his hope fade as quickly as the stars above him.